Not very boring Breen — Day 18

Our tiny ball of excitement had a tough incident in the morning, and then another one in the evening.

In the morning, his intubation tube had moved a bit, and he couldn’t tolerate it.

This kind of thing has happened to him a few times in the past. Breen is just so small that if the tube moves a half centimeter or so, it could be in the wrong spot and doesn’t give him the pressure and intervention he needs.

They had to reposition the tube a couple times, which put him in a bad place, so he needed to be “bagged”, which is where they take a handheld bag to keep his oxygen going while they figured out what settings and tube positioning would work for him.

Not boring.

He then had a nice boring afternoon, just lying around as the nurse adjusted settings here or there to get him dialed in. He’s a bit more erratic than usual with his O2 saturation, but that’s likely due to the absolutely insane week he just had. Other numbers look really good, and the hope is still to give him a decent span of time where he can just rest, recover, and grow.

He looks so cozy in there.

Erin came back this afternoon from Pocatello. It was weird to greet her at the hospital (like, welcome home!?). Where do we live now?

We went up to see Breen, Erin first of course. He did OK for her, but when I went in, he had another incident where he desatted and his heart rate crashed. Same as this morning, they kept him alive with that hand operated bag ventilator while they got him squared away. (They say they had to “bag him”, which is a phrase that I’ve come to strongly dislike).

This afternoon incident was sparked by the nurses wanting to put in another IV (this poor little pin cushion) for more meds, blood, and IV nutrition. They ended up getting it in, but our little guy is just so raw, so sensitive, so fragile right now that pretty much any touch or care sets him off, and a procedure like this was enough to send him crashing.

This could very well be simply him recovering from a crazy week of surgeries, coding, and emergency air travel. That’s gotta catch up with a guy, especially a tiny guy.

The hope here is that Breen is able to rest, recover, and rejuvenate over these next few days and come out on the other side stronger. This, as scary as it is, could very well be part of his healing.

It’s important to also recognize that because Breen is so fragile, it’s not a guarantee that he gets to the other side of recovering from this week. Each of these “bagging”, “coding” or “desatting” events are really dangerous, which he survived due to the quick and efficient action by his bedside nurses, who instantly called in and directed a team of techs and other care givers to bring him around.

Breen is on his 18th day of life, which still hangs in the balance. In many ways he is stronger, and in a more stable, healthier place. However he really went through the ringer this week, and his recovery will be difficult.

It’s another brutal and unfair test for a tiny fragile man. He’s done so much, fought so hard, and he has to go back into battle. Or to use newer images, he needs his quilt of love and prayer to give him strength and resiliency. A snug blanket of light and prayer.

We’ll continue to hope for boring days to come. Days of rest and revitalization.

Today was not really that day.

Sleep well Breenie.